in the city of guangzhou, china (located in the guangdong province), there stands a statue of 5 goats. legend has it that early in the time this land was inhabited, 5 celestial beings descended in brightly colored robes riding on brightly colored goats, bearing rice and grain. this was believed to be a blessing, to ensure the people of this land never experienced famine.
i traveled to hong kong in december of 2004 with a group from my college ministry; we then met up with hundreds of other Jesus-loving college students from across the nation. our goal was this: to spend Christmas in china, telling, showing, living out the love of God to the students we met. after a brief introduction and preparedness of/in prayer, the hundreds of us then went out in teams of 5-10 to various points of china. i went with 4 others to guangzhou. we would be there a little over two weeks, visiting classes of college-aged students studying english. since china was picking up on the "christmas trend"--or as some store windows there displayed "chrismas"--which is probably more appropriate anyway, we had the perfect opportunity to share the true Christmas story, one of the great love of the one true God, who became man, who lived a sinless life, who died on the cross for our sinful lives, and rose again, so that one day, we may too be raised from the dead and sing praises to Him, whom created the universe and all within it, for all eternity.
their ears and eyes were open, and mouths willing to converse. what also struck me was how they longed for simple attention. to have someone talk to them. show an interest in them. value them. befriend them. one girl in particular, who gave herself the english name "eagle" was especially precious. one might sense that a mere smile and "hey eagle! how are you today?" with a back pat and hug was the most attention and care she had been shown, quite possibly, in her life. our last day there, eagle handed each of us a note and a small friendship bracelet (i still have mine, it's blue and white with tiny blue and clear beads on the end strings that tie). she seemed bashful upon handing me my note, and asked that i not read it in front of her, but wait until i was at least on the plane. i assured her i would wait, and i thanked her for my bracelet and gave her a hug.
what i've neglected to tell of until this point, is what i would deem to be a poor attitude i developed at the end of this trip. we were all tired, but for a good purpose. we were exhausted, but thankful for the opportunity to have been able to share the love behind christmas with these students; plant seeds that the next group coming through would water, and yet another harvest. i also failed to mention that somehow, i ended up being the only girl in this group that traveled to guangzhou for a couple of weeks. i'm a girl's girl. i like pink and i like to laugh, and i like to gaze at the stars and i like to watch birds and other furry creatures scamper about. there was a significant laguage barrier, so, my girly communication was greatly limited, and my heart was feeling it (honesty is what we're going for, right?). the moment i sat in my seat on the plane, i opened my note, and a few seconds later, i was in tears. my heart seemed to have been torn from my little chest, and my sniffles were rampant. the dear sweet words of eagle. "i do not deserve a friend like you. you are so kind and have shown me so much love"...the rest of the note i'll leave private, as some meaningful things are best that way. how could this be? me? kind? shown so much love? i examined over and over the last few days. i pleaded within my mind, my heart for there to be some way to turn time back for just two days, so push through that exhaustion and expend every last bit of energy in love. this was the point i told myself that i will never again let my tiredness or weariness hold back every ounce of love i have.
(i also think i had seen some of myself in eagle (but that's for a later post in how my mess became my message)).
many of the evenings were spent in quite time, prayer, encouraging one another--as we were so young and in such a spiritually taxing environment. i would find myself after spending my quiet time, hopping on the bus that had the numbers i recognized would take me to the center of town. (in hind sight, this was probably not the best idea, since i didn't speak a word of the language, all the characters looked the same to me, and i was a young 21 year old girl in the midst of rural china). nevertheless, this became my nightly ritual. --you see, there is a tragically large homeless population of women and children in china. with the one child policy, baby girls are often abandoned and grow up on the streets. they then prostitute themselves to make money to eat, and become pregnant. well, since they were abandoned as young girls themselves, they are not registered with the government and unable to go to the hospital to have their children (not to mention, as previously stated, they became pregnant as the result of prostitution--which carried much shame with it). often times, these women would be on the street with 2,3, or even 4 children. they slept next to trashcans, under newspapers, under stairwells. i found myself, a heart on fire, relentless, to make the difference in one, two, three, etc. women's day the best way i could--with a smile, a hug and food. every night, i'd buy 8-10 meals worth of food, and hand it out to the homeless women i'd see as i prayer walked. my heart still breaks, 7 years later to recall how they threw their hands at my feet and nodded their heads, hugging my legs after receiving this "feast". i was determined to make that night a night of a feasts for them. i knew i couldn't save all the women and children neglected, of china, but i could do it for some of them that night, and that was good enough.
here's what i learned. push through. love. exhort. two days of pushing through for us, is just that, two days...but, it can make a lifetime of difference to someone else. to think about the extra love i could have shown precious eagle, breaks my heart. the dear just thought what i showed her was a kindness she had not known before, but i know that the last few days, it was a kindness that could have been more if i pushed through the tiredness. i've taken that and grown with it. it's not my love to let be tired. the love within my heart is a spring from the source of Him who gives me life, and it must over flow at all times. it's a love that spills onto others, and saturates them. it's our way of being His hands and feet. we live out the gospel.
a quote attribute to st. francis: "preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words"
i traveled to hong kong in december of 2004 with a group from my college ministry; we then met up with hundreds of other Jesus-loving college students from across the nation. our goal was this: to spend Christmas in china, telling, showing, living out the love of God to the students we met. after a brief introduction and preparedness of/in prayer, the hundreds of us then went out in teams of 5-10 to various points of china. i went with 4 others to guangzhou. we would be there a little over two weeks, visiting classes of college-aged students studying english. since china was picking up on the "christmas trend"--or as some store windows there displayed "chrismas"--which is probably more appropriate anyway, we had the perfect opportunity to share the true Christmas story, one of the great love of the one true God, who became man, who lived a sinless life, who died on the cross for our sinful lives, and rose again, so that one day, we may too be raised from the dead and sing praises to Him, whom created the universe and all within it, for all eternity.
their ears and eyes were open, and mouths willing to converse. what also struck me was how they longed for simple attention. to have someone talk to them. show an interest in them. value them. befriend them. one girl in particular, who gave herself the english name "eagle" was especially precious. one might sense that a mere smile and "hey eagle! how are you today?" with a back pat and hug was the most attention and care she had been shown, quite possibly, in her life. our last day there, eagle handed each of us a note and a small friendship bracelet (i still have mine, it's blue and white with tiny blue and clear beads on the end strings that tie). she seemed bashful upon handing me my note, and asked that i not read it in front of her, but wait until i was at least on the plane. i assured her i would wait, and i thanked her for my bracelet and gave her a hug.
what i've neglected to tell of until this point, is what i would deem to be a poor attitude i developed at the end of this trip. we were all tired, but for a good purpose. we were exhausted, but thankful for the opportunity to have been able to share the love behind christmas with these students; plant seeds that the next group coming through would water, and yet another harvest. i also failed to mention that somehow, i ended up being the only girl in this group that traveled to guangzhou for a couple of weeks. i'm a girl's girl. i like pink and i like to laugh, and i like to gaze at the stars and i like to watch birds and other furry creatures scamper about. there was a significant laguage barrier, so, my girly communication was greatly limited, and my heart was feeling it (honesty is what we're going for, right?). the moment i sat in my seat on the plane, i opened my note, and a few seconds later, i was in tears. my heart seemed to have been torn from my little chest, and my sniffles were rampant. the dear sweet words of eagle. "i do not deserve a friend like you. you are so kind and have shown me so much love"...the rest of the note i'll leave private, as some meaningful things are best that way. how could this be? me? kind? shown so much love? i examined over and over the last few days. i pleaded within my mind, my heart for there to be some way to turn time back for just two days, so push through that exhaustion and expend every last bit of energy in love. this was the point i told myself that i will never again let my tiredness or weariness hold back every ounce of love i have.
(i also think i had seen some of myself in eagle (but that's for a later post in how my mess became my message)).
many of the evenings were spent in quite time, prayer, encouraging one another--as we were so young and in such a spiritually taxing environment. i would find myself after spending my quiet time, hopping on the bus that had the numbers i recognized would take me to the center of town. (in hind sight, this was probably not the best idea, since i didn't speak a word of the language, all the characters looked the same to me, and i was a young 21 year old girl in the midst of rural china). nevertheless, this became my nightly ritual. --you see, there is a tragically large homeless population of women and children in china. with the one child policy, baby girls are often abandoned and grow up on the streets. they then prostitute themselves to make money to eat, and become pregnant. well, since they were abandoned as young girls themselves, they are not registered with the government and unable to go to the hospital to have their children (not to mention, as previously stated, they became pregnant as the result of prostitution--which carried much shame with it). often times, these women would be on the street with 2,3, or even 4 children. they slept next to trashcans, under newspapers, under stairwells. i found myself, a heart on fire, relentless, to make the difference in one, two, three, etc. women's day the best way i could--with a smile, a hug and food. every night, i'd buy 8-10 meals worth of food, and hand it out to the homeless women i'd see as i prayer walked. my heart still breaks, 7 years later to recall how they threw their hands at my feet and nodded their heads, hugging my legs after receiving this "feast". i was determined to make that night a night of a feasts for them. i knew i couldn't save all the women and children neglected, of china, but i could do it for some of them that night, and that was good enough.
here's what i learned. push through. love. exhort. two days of pushing through for us, is just that, two days...but, it can make a lifetime of difference to someone else. to think about the extra love i could have shown precious eagle, breaks my heart. the dear just thought what i showed her was a kindness she had not known before, but i know that the last few days, it was a kindness that could have been more if i pushed through the tiredness. i've taken that and grown with it. it's not my love to let be tired. the love within my heart is a spring from the source of Him who gives me life, and it must over flow at all times. it's a love that spills onto others, and saturates them. it's our way of being His hands and feet. we live out the gospel.
a quote attribute to st. francis: "preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words"
No comments:
Post a Comment